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what is coming Out?

To understand what people mean by 'coming out', you first need to know about what is meant by 'sexual orientation', and the different views people have.

• Our sexual orientation is about who we are attracted to sexually and emotionally.
• To be same-sex attracted means being sexually and emotionally attracted to people of your own sex, as well as seeing yourself as same-sex attracted.
• Some people believe that being same-sex attracted is a choice. Many others believe that people are born same-sex attracted.

There are different ways that people refer to same-sex attraction.

• 'Gay' often refers to men who are attracted to men, while 'lesbian' refers to women who are attracted to women. Some women call themselves gay as well.
• A person who is bisexual can be either a man or a woman who is sexually attracted to both sexes and who sees him or herself as being bisexual.
• The more general term for people who are attracted to their own sex is 'homosexual'. Young people usually prefer to say they are same-sex attracted, gay/lesbian or bisexual, rather than use the  term homosexual, which many do not identify with.
• 'Straight' or 'heterosexual' people are sexually attracted to the opposite sex.
  • In society, many people presume that everyone is heterosexual/straight.
  • Some believe that everyone should be heterosexual/straight.

In some countries, homosexuality is illegal. In Australia same-sex attraction is legal.

In some countries/societies there is discrimination against and hate of same-sex attracted people.

• This is called homophobia (homophobia literally means fear of homosexuality).
• This can make it very difficult for many young people to tell others that they are same-sex attracted.
• A lot of people keep their sexuality secret because they're afraid of being harassed or discriminated against by their family, friends and others.
• Some young people find it difficult to deal with the issue of their sexuality and feel they can't tell anyone. This can make life very difficult for them because they're constantly hiding their sexuality.

In some societies there is growing acceptance and open-mindedness about differences in people. Differences are celebrated eg. multicultural and gay festivals.

• However, it can still be difficult to let others know about being same-sex attracted, because many people believe everyone is straight.
• Letting people know that you are same-sex attracted has become known as 'coming out of the closet', 'coming out', or 'going public'.
• It means coming out from hiding who you really are, and breaking free of some of the restraints placed on a person by society, by culture, by history and by law in some places.

'Coming out' is now a well known term, but it's still understood differently by different people.